Just Relax And It Will Happen

Anyone who has been trying to conceive without success has probably been given this advice.  But how many women who have been branded with the infertile label are generally feeling relaxed about it?! Most of us have been prodded and poked to within an inch of our lives. We follow weird diets (“pineapple anyone?”) and we take a million supplements a day (“mmm fish oil, yes please”). We google our symptoms (“my little toe hurts could I be pregnant”?), and we worry about never having a family of our own. We work hard at our relationships during the stressful times and sometimes take it out on those we love the most. Sometimes we allow ourselves to be hopeful, that perhaps this is the month after all, and then we deal with the disappointment that follows. Doesn’t sound like a recipe for relaxation to me.

Because what people forget is what time can do to a person. We all started trying to conceive in a good place. We were relaxed and we were hopeful, but until you personally go through it, until you experience the disappointment month after month, it’s hard to explain how waiting for something that just isn’t happening can simply wear you down sometimes.

As for me, I do not currently use ovulation sticks, or take my temperature, so I wouldn’t say that was anything I could physically change to relax more:  I really think that if it was as simple as just “relaxing” then something would have happened by now. Whilst obsessively googling ways to get pregnant, I often come across the phrase “we just stopped trying and it happened for us”. It’s great that for some people that works, but I just can’t see that ever working for us….I have a very good idea of when I”m ovulating, and so I know when we should be trying, so why would we not try around the very time I know we should be? I cannot pretend I have forgotten where I am in my cycle, I’m too far into the “trying to conceive” game to be successful at forgetting this information. And how is not having sex at the right time really going to help?

Hmm this post has become a bit of a rant – just about to start another month of TTC and not feeling it today – better file this one under “negativity”, and of course “patience” 🙂

SC x

3 thoughts on “Just Relax And It Will Happen

  1. as-i-see-it says:

    Sounds very difficult – I’m guilty of having once told a friend who was TTC that she should try distracting herself (which would in turn “relax” her). I’ll think before I speak next time 😉 My fingers are crossed for you; I guess all you really can do is keep at it and do your best to keep your chin up!


  2. Recurrentlyhopeful says:

    Infuriating advice isn’t it. Like you, I don’t have to try very hard to work out exactly when our ‘window of opportunity’ is each month – the symptoms are very clear and the TTC part of the brain does not come with an ‘off’ switch – sometimes I wish it did!
    I’m just about to start another month of TTC as well so we are in this battle together!

    Liked by 1 person

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