I’ve had a little break from the blog, M and I went to Amsterdam for a lovely break – more of that in another post I think: lots of time to think things over and figure out some stuff.
One thing that I’ve been feeling for a while now is a little bit useless. As a woman it sometimes seems as though one of the fundamental functions of my body should be to conceive. I mean that’s why my I have a uterus and ovaries right? That’s why I have those delightful periods every month along with a few hormonal hiccups to boot. It makes me guilty that I can’t give M the baby that he is so desperate to have, and to be honest I’ve been feeling a little bit like I’m broken.
Do you know what has helped me change my frame of mind about this? Joining the blogging world and understanding how many strong and amazing women there are out there. It’s made me realise that being able to conceive is not the definition of womanhood: we are so much more than that. There are women out there who are a lot further down the infertility route than I am (14 months of trying), but their courage, resilience and sense of humour during such difficult times has amazed me. Month after month we women pick ourselves up again, getting ourselves in the right head space to start all over again for the next month. The strength to do this, time and time again should never be underestimated.
To me, this strength is the ultimate definition of being a woman.