I’m a bit angry. Not just on behalf of myself, but on behalf of all the women out there struggling with trying to conceive. The more I read of other blogs out there, the more I realise how much time, energy and emotion is taken up with this trying to conceive bullshit. But women struggling with infertility should not be pitied, they should be respected and admired, because the strength and resolve I’ve seen out there has knocked me sideways. Those who never strive down this path do not realise what infertility is affiliated with: blood tests, intimate investigations, hormone injections, surgery, risky procedures, reoccurring pain, reoccurring loss, grief……..and I really could go on.
I had a difficult week last week and hit a bit of a new low following my appointment at the infertility clinic. I sometimes feel as though I have forgotten what I was like before all this crap. I absolutely refuse to let this define me, I was/am a strong minded individual who knows my own mind and is very comfortable in my own skin. This infertility journey will NOT rob me of who I am. It’s not going to be easy, because it’s always going to be everywhere – I have tests coming up and not to mention period pain that interferes with my life. I have pregnant friends and I want to be a part of that, so avoidance isn’t an option, but what I do have is determination to stay on top of this – this doesn’t mean I’m going to be fine all the time, but if nothing else i will continue to fight.