Liebster Award

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I have been nominated by My Brain’s Escape for the Liebster Award! Thank you to Amy who has an amazing, heartfelt blog. I always look out for her updates, you should take a look if you haven’t already!

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The questions that she gave me to answer are as follows (I will keep the answers brief as I tend to waffle)

  1. What country do you live in? United Kingdom
  2. Do you like to cook/bake? If so, what’s your favorite recipe? I like to cook, where I can make recipes up as I go along. I do not like to bake: I don’t have the patience to measure everything out so specifically as required when baking, and I get extremely angry when it all goes wrong (which is inevitably does)
  3. What type of job do you have? (Doesn’t have to be specific, just the general field you work in) I work as a programme officer, so supporting various projects and making sure people are doing what they are meant to be doing!
  4. Who do you feel has the most control, or gets their way more, in your relationship? Ooh controversial, I like it! I have been with my husband for a long time, and certainly at the beginning when I was younger it was me who got their own way, a lot. However as I’ve got older I’ve realised it’s not all about getting my own way, and things are much more even between us now.
  5. What “hidden” talent do you have that not many people know about? I make up fake words for things, sometimes they replace something that already exists, sometimes they are just strange sounds. Not sure this is an actual talent, but more a sign of lunacy
  6. If you could live anywhere in the world, money/work wasn’t a concern, where would it be? The UK. I love it here, I love the seasons, the pub culture, the history, the diversity and of course the ability to be sarcastic about almost everything
  7. Do you collect anything? No I don’t, I hate holding onto stuff and don’t really have a lot of sentiment for things, happy to mostly throw things out
  8. Do you have pets? If so, what are they and what are their names? Yes! Two lovely cats, Freddie (Mercury) and Lucy. They make me very happy.
  9. When you’re upset or stressed and need to relax, what do you usually do? More recently it’s been the gym. I started spinning last year and I absolutely love it. I also love the smell of lavender, (such an old lady) and find the smell very comforting.
  10. Do you have any injuries/scars from something that happened to you that impede on your every day life? I have a scar on my head from a car accident, but nothing that impedes my daily life, thankfully.
  11. If blogs didn’t exist, how would you get your feelings out? I’m not really one for holding back on my feelings, I’ve got some amazing friends and family members who are very patient and understanding so I think those feelings would be coming out one way or another anyway.

11 Random Facts About Me

  1. I’ve been with my husband for almost 14 years
  2. I used to have a crush on Freddie Mercury, and am still obsessed with Queen
  3. I have a tattoo that I got in New Zealand – I fainted whilst I was having it done
  4. I love live music and am very happy to have seen some amazing legends play (in my opinion) – Madonna, Oasis, Blur, Amy Winehouse
  5. I can say the alphabet backwards (SO useful)
  6. My favourite flowers are tulips (never used to be into flowers, obviously a sign of getting older)
  7. I’m scared of dolls, and as a kid never had one
  8. I also have a phobia of crabs (yay, I’m so normal)
  9. I can do the alphabet in sign language (bet you’re loving the alphabet facts)
  10. I used to have 11 holes in my ears, 6 in one and 4 in the other – they look ok now, but feel very bumpy if you were to touch them (but why would anyone do that)
  11. I’m doing a 34 mile bike ride next month for charity

My 11 questions for my nominees are:

  1. What simple thing makes you happy?
  2. What sort of music do you like?
  3. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
  4. Do you have any tattoos?
  5. Do you have any weird fears?
  6. Do you play an instrument?
  7. How do you think others would describe you in three words?
  8. Where has been the best place you’ve travelled to?
  9. What languages can you speak?
  10. Do you have any pets?
  11. How long have you been blogging for?

I still feel pretty new to the blogging world, so am going to nominate a variety of blogs from those that I keep up with frequently to those I’d like to get to know more. Really sorry if you’ve already been nominated.

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According to Katie

My Ectopic Experience

Tales of a 30 Year Old Nothing

LittleDragon84

A Calm Persistence

Rivers in the Wasteland

Que Milagro

The Recurrently Hopeful

Solving the Four Years of Infertility Mystery

The DogBird Fam

Try Try Again

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Dressing to Impress

I bet from the title you thought this blog would be about dressing well to make yourself feel better. Erm no….I just wondered whether anyone else dresses like total shit when they are chilling out at home, or do people actually manage to look decent?!

So tonight, I got home and it was really warm, so I threw on my elasticated skirt with no shape (doesn’t that sound great? why do I even buy this stuff?) and a vest top. But then, after a little while, I was cold, so I put on my weird black and red turtle neck jumper that I bought in Barcelona (at the time I thought it was funky and cool  – turns out it was not). And then, my feet were freezing, so I found some really trendy snoopy socks in my drawer, expect I could only one orange and one green. And there we have it, the perfect look. Do you think this is a look for Vogue? I caught sight of myself in the mirror and couldn’t help laughing. I’m sure M sees this and realises what a lucky boy he is…. Just call me the Fashion Queen….

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London – City Love

I live just 15 minutes from London on the train, so I’m there pretty regularly – however today I found out last minute I had a meeting in the City (financial district), which is an area I rarely go to. The meeting finished at 4pm and I had arranged to meet a friend for dinner a little later, so I had a few hours to just mooch around, and today I found that my lovely London really helped me to slow my mind down and relax.

I sat in the beautiful sunshine by the river Thames and ate popcorn, and then walked along the river edge to St Paul’s Cathedral. I love thinking about the history of London, it somehow calms me and gives me a settled and cosy feeling. It gives me a chance to use my imagination and I make up people in my head and stories to go with them. Evidence of past lives and stories are all there if you look close enough – they make London what it is today.

And modern London is always so full of life- it’s always vibrant and just radiates energy that you can’t describe unless you are there. And I love how it’s possible to completely blend in with the place – everyone is just busy getting on with their own lives. I know that this is the very thing that some people don’t like about huge cities, but for me, it’s such a comfort and I will never tire of lovely London. Few photos below from earlier today 🙂

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Never going to be that kind of woman….

So a bit of a different update, because there’s just nothing whatsoever going on in the TTC world for me – I have an HSG Test on the 7th April and we aren’t allowed to try before it, and since it’s after my fertile window, this month really is out for us. More on that in another update I think.

Today is a reflection and an understanding that I’m never going to be one of those women who appear to have it all together  -do you know the type I mean? Perfect hair and clothes that don’t seem to bobble or lose their shape. They don’t trip up on the street and they don’t lose their bank cards every other month. They don’t ever seem to have more than one bag, whereas I often do a good impression of a bag lady and sometimes lug around two or three (all full of crap). I bet if you put your hand in the bottom of their handbag it would be clean, not full of biscuit crumbs, old mints and 67 shop receipts. Please don’t be offended if you are one of those women, I would like to be a little more like you sometimes, but I’ve accepted it’s unlikely to happen!

A little example? Ok so on Thursday I had to head into London for a fairly important meeting. I attempted to wear my “smart” work clothes which was a black shirt and grey skirt (exciting I know). So I got up pretty early and got dressed practically in the dark. I grabbed a pair of black tights from the spare room where they had been drying and pulled them on. What I didn’t notice, was that Lucy, my cat, must have at some point fancied a snooze on my clean washing, and my tights were covered, (and I mean COVERED) in white fur. I only notice this however when I get to the bus stop. And do you think those bloody little hairs would come off? Oh no. It was like they were superglued. It was also pouring with rain, which aided the whole glue effect. Picture weird hopping around whilst simultaneously trying to brush down my legs.

So I get into London and head to Starbucks for a drink as I”m early (I can at least manage my time, if nothing else). I fumble around for a pen to make a few notes, but all I can find in my bag is a bright pink pen with a little bear holding a flower hanging from it – are you f*cking kidding me?!! My cousins daughter had got it for me for my birthday, and although it’s sweet, it’s hardly appropriate for a meeting. So instead of enjoying my tea, I spent the next ten minutes trying to break the chain with my teeth between the bright pink pen and the little bear. Hardly the look of sophistication, and why do I never see this sort of thing happening to other people?!

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And while i’m on this subject, last year I had a shoe fiasco, it was only at the bus stop at the END of the day did I notice the below – as I said, I”m just never going to be one of those women! At least I can honestly say there isn’t a dull moment 🙂

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Lucy. Much needed love and company

Today is my least favourite of the month. It’s the day my period turns up, bringing along the familiar disappointment with it, the crippling pain and of course the worry of missing work, yet again. Since 4am this morning I’ve been awake with debilitating pain, it’s 10am now and I’m just being allowed some respite before it all kicks off again. I deal with this all day, completely alone, I get a few hours of respite followed by pain that sends me out of my mind. Getting up, even for a glass of water kicks the pain off again, so I limit my movements as much as possible.

So yes, today is a struggle, but one little thing that keeps me going is my Lucy. I totally appreciate that not everyone loves cats as much as I do – but for me, she’s my saviour at this time of the month, she just doesn’t leave my side. It’s a real comfort and I’d be lost without her, she absolutely knows when I’m feeling unwell like this.

We found Lucy online from a private seller. We had picked up Freddie our boy cat the previous day and decided on a whim to get a friend for him. Lucy wasn’t a very happy kitten when we got her, she was covered in fleas and had worms. She had sad eyes but also a bit of an attitude and I was worried we had made a mistake. I couldn’t have been more wrong. A month or two of getting her sorted and she was a different cat. Loving, friendly and there isn’t an aggressive bone in her body.

I can never resist taking a photo of her looking so sweet, and decided this morning to look back over previous months when I had taken photos of her during the first day of my period,  and thought I’d share them, as they really are very sweet.

So I need to get over the hump of today, and then onto the next month (month 15 of trying) for us.

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PS the first photo below is right now and the rest go back over the past 7 months 🙂

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A Break Away

I fancy writing a positive post, and one about a different area of my life, not the trying to conceive part.

So M and I went to Amsterdam two weeks ago for a three night break. It was fantastic! The feeling of the place was one of calm, the moment we arrived I took a deep breathe and decided to forget as many of my problems as I possibly could. So many of our conversations lately revolve around not getting pregnant and DIY to the house (don’t get me wrong, that’s one of my favourite topics) but it was refreshing to go to an entirely new place together and explore.

On the first evening we found a little old fashioned looking steak house, the walls were mahogany wood and the ceilings were low. It was cozy and warm and the smell of the food enticed us in. M ordered a beer and I had a double gin and tonic. And I felt like “us” again. We chatted about what we would like to see in Amsterdam and what food we fancied that evening. M ended up going for a steak (wise choice in a steak house) and I opted for seabass. It was an amazing meal, and afterwards we headed to a bar called the Chocolate Bar (minus any chocolate unfortunately!) and had another drink before heading off to our lovely hotel.

All I thought about whilst I was out there was what I was doing at that very moment, be it eating (and we did a whole lot of that), seeing something new, or immersing myself into a different culture for a short while. We walked for miles and miles without realising, and the exercise felt great. We spent hours having brunch, which is one of my favourites meals. One morning we found a place called “Coffee and Coconuts” which was a converted 1920’s picture house. The building was vast and went up three floors. Our table was suspended by ropes and the food was eclectic! We chose the same off the menu, because it looked so interesting: mashed avocado with scrambled eggs on top, a coconut pancake with raspberry coulis and a little pot of vanilla yoghurt with granola. Very different to my usual porridge and just fantastic. One of my happiest breakfasts ever!

On a different note, we visited Anne Frank’s house which was emotional, and really helped me put my life into perspective. I cannot begin to comprehend what people and families must have been through during such a harrowing time, the fear and loss must have been unbearable.

Amsterdam is surrounded by water which had such a calming effect. We bought the most fancy chocolates (and most expensive) and ate them whilst overlooking a beautiful canal (I went for lemongrass, and have never tasted anything like it). We walked more and stopped in a pancake house for a bacon pancake and rum tea.

I haven’t even mentioned the bikes yet! My job is related to cycling and so I was so interested with how Amsterdam gets around. And let me tell you, it’s all by bike! Literally, hundreds of thousands of bikes, and you need your wits about you at all times, because more often than not, you’re in a cycle lane by mistake. The Dutch cycle along having their breakfast, talking on the phone, or chatting with friends, it’s such a standard way of life for them.

And so it was an amazing three days, and we will be back. I’ve shared a couple of photos below, incase anyone is interested.

I’m glad I wrote this post, just reminiscing about this trip has really cheered me up this evening

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